an aquamarine wand

 Aquamarine is a type of beryl, that ranges from very light to bright blue-green.  Like kyanite, it owes its bluish color to the aluminum in it.  It’s found mostly in Brazil, but there is some in other places where there are deposits of tin.  Other stones that may be found near or with it are feldspar and tourmaline.

Metaphysical/Mystical Properties

Aquamarine is symbolic of the sea, and is said to bring good luck to sailors.  It is also said to be a cure-all, but in truth, its energy is more specific.  It has a cooling effect when rubbed on the skin because it draws away heat.  So it is useful for someone who tends to get hot or a rise in blood pressure when they are stressed.  It also helps someone to control their anger.

Because of its close association with water, it helps to regulate the body’s water balance.  If you tend to get thirsty often due to diabetes, or are easily dehydrated, then while you’re being treated for the main problem, carrying or wearing an aquamarine near the throat or chest can help.

Caring For Your Aquamarine

Clean aquamarine with clear water.  Do not let it get too hot, or bake it in the oven to make polymer clay handles for them, or they may split.  It won’t get damaged from normal wear, but beryl can shatter like a diamond if it is smashed against something.

a kyanite therapy stone

 Kyanite is a very under-appreciated stone because it isn’t often found in gem quality.  Usually, it’s ground up and used as an industrial abraisive or a kind of glitter for ceramics.  This special aluminum silicate though, packs a powerful metaphysical punch, as in the few cases that it is found tightly packed enough not to fall apart, it is breathtakingly beautiful and immediately takes the viewer to a calmer state.  The reason why is because it reminds one of water.  Indeed, even touching it feels like touching ice that isn’t frozen.

The reason why is because of the columns of crystal that form kyanite.  It’ll always have multiple levels of hardness.  So a sensitive person will feel the slight ridges and perhaps even the varying temperatures of the columns.

Metaphysical/Mystical Properties

Kyanite is a calming stone.  It helps one to relax and keep a cool head during tough times.  It is an interesting coincidence that it is becoming more popular these days, as many people have found their lives turned upside down because of financial problems.

It’s a great stone for competitive athletes, and students during exam season.  It’s also said to make people less nervous when trying to speak a new language.

a kyanite ring

One not so well known use of kyanite is to dispell the “evil eye”.  It amplifies the effect of eye symbols, and is used by some as the eye itself on hamza symbols.  The refractory effect is said to confuse any possible jealous or possessive onlookers.

Caring For Your Kyanite

It does not need to be “cleaned” in the same way as other stones.  A little time in sunlight will do, if you feel it necessary.  If it gets physically dirty, just rinse it with room temperature water.

Keep kyanite from rubbing too much against other stones or even normal hard objects.  It has perfect cleavage, so a chip will turn into a full fledged split.  This is why the water you clean it with should be room temperature. Rapid changes may split your stone.

a pink opal wand

Pink opal generally comes from Peru, but there may be small desposits in other areas of central and South America.  What gives it its pink color is quinones, which come from oxidized plant matter.

Like other types of opal, it is a hydrated silica.  This means that it has a combination water and mineral structure, and is more truly a petrified clump of mineral gel than an actual stone.  Indeed, if you gently tap one with your teeth or fingernail, it will feel not quite stone and not quite plastic.  If you rub it with your dry finger, it “sings” somewhat similarly to jade, but you may notice a kind of thump each time your finger switches directions.

Pink opals don’t produce the “light play” that others do, but they are still quite beautiful in their own way.  They run from opaque to translucent, and are found in a variety of sizes and shades of pink.  Generally, they run from almost creamy beige colored, to fierce baby pink.  There are some though, that look almost pastel mauve.  If you see one darker than that, it may have been dyed.  Because it’s a relatively inexpensive stone, some jewelry manufacturers feel free to dye them to make them more pink.  In my opinion, that is a shame as the variety of shades is what makes them interesting to look at.

Metaphysical/Mystical Properties

The deity that pink opal is most strongly associated with is PachaMama, the indigenous Andean Mother Goddess or maternal aspect of God, depending on your approach to spirituality.  It would therefore also be associated with similarly approached maternal aspects such as Mawu or Mawu-Lisa, Yemaya, Tiamat, Tenet/Tanith, the Soul of the Virgin Mary, or the Holy Spirit.

The astrological sign associated with pink opal is Virgo.  This is contrary to what many say, but it is a pink water silica for crying out loud.  It is a good assistant to affirmation for those born under that sign, but also draws good fortune in romance to Scorpios and Libras born in October.

pink opal "chips" (remnants) beads

Regardless of your sign, wearing pink opal attracts earthy to intellectual dominant people.  That would be 11 o’clock to 1 o’clock on the LaVeyan TSW personality scale.  Dominant women want to put their hands on it.  Dominant men want to touch the person wearing it.  So if you are a 5-7 o’clock, you’ll attract good matches by wearing this stone in plain view.

In crystal therapy, pink opal helps to open the heart and throat chakras, so it helps to relieve stress, especially that caused by a broken heart or unrequited love.  It enables the person to heal or get over their obsession more quickly with a sort of psychological “absorbing” effect.  Indeed opal, like amber, literally absorbs water from who it touches.  So it as if the person is in a way, bleeding their pain to the stone, as if it was kind of a mental bandage.

For the purpose of helping to speed recovery from heartbreak, or lessen the intensity, it should be paired with ruby.  Ruby is like the psychological alcohol of matters of the heart.  It cleans and purifies.  So with pink opal doing the drawing, and ruby doing the cleansing and cauterization, the person can move forward more easily.  If you give them an amulet to wear that has both of these stones in it, even better.  Just remember that the opal needs to be fed water, and the ruby needs to be fed light.

Caring for Your Pink Opal

Pink opals should be stored in a cool, dark place.  Keep your stone in a dark bag to protect it from sunlight, and heat.  It is also easily chipped and scratched by other stones, so it should be in a bag even if you keep your stones in a box.

Every couple of months, let your opal soak in a glass of clear water overnight.  Because of its nature, remember that it absorbs water from anyone it touches, so don’t use it on one person and then another right away.  It should be “cleaned” before it is used on another.  So if you are treating multiple people for romantic issues, then you should have enough for each of them for a month or two month period.

Often, when trying to help the volunteer martyr, people treat them like the victim.  In a sense they are, but only in a consensual sense.  They are not being forced to do anything.  Even though it may cost them pain or have other consequences, a person always has the option of standing down and withstanding whatever results from that.  The reason they let other people take advantage of them is because this is an opportunity to take advantage of the other.

It’s a cycle.  The supposed martyr allows the other person to harm or take advantage of them.  In return, they get ego gratification and pumped up by their getting to feel like the poor angelic victim or self sacrificing saint.  This teaches the seeming attacker or advantage taker that it is okay to harm people because they can.  This doesn’t pan out so well with other people, so in order to get their ego gratified by harming someone, they have to return to the volunteer martyr.

In essence, the martyr takes on the role of an enabler, or the drug itself.  They feed someone else’s addiction to inflicting harm, but at the same time feed their own addiction to the ego boost that comes with voluntarily being harmed.

So they create a kind of mutually parasitic relationship.  Between consenting adults, this might not be such a bad thing if they’re conscious of it, and it has limits.  However, when people train their children to be offenders or martyrs, that’s when we’re delving into the dark side.

To train a child to believe that it’s okay to harm people or take advantage of them is a bad survival lesson.  These things are not okay, and could get them into serious trouble.  If they don’t get into trouble, they will at least leave a path of destruction that will kind of mess up your little plan to not hurt anybody by saying no to them.  What necessary hurt you avoid today by being capitulating, will lead to much unnecessary harm tomorrow.  This will be your fault because you created that monster and then unleashed it on the world.

How to make it stop?  Start by making rules for yourself, not for other people.  Figure out what your limits are, and don’t let anyone cross them.  It’s not selfish to have limits.  It’s not selfish to want to save money or want to have nice things that other people don’t destroy.  In fact, when you have boundaries, it teaches those you deal with, that people have boundaries, which is a good survival lesson.

After you’ve decided what you limits are, you can develop policies for how to wage relationships so that people are unlikely to step on you, thinking it’s okay.  You can tailor your appearance, language, and habits to express your newfound desire to live as a confident non parasite.

Join these people at 43 Things who want to stop being pushovers.

“Dr.” just means that someone has studied enough previously published information that is thought to be correct, and that they can hopefully conduct research, and draw educated conclusions on their own.  What happens though, when a large proportion of the previously published information was wrong?

You guessed it.  The doctor has to relearn the new information.

The field of counseling and psychology is not and has never been an exact science.  Human experience is not uniform, and we’re not blank slates.  As a spiritual counselor with a religious education and degree, I have a bit more flexibility than the conventionally trained psychologist or therapist.  You learn something new every day, and in our branch, you have the luxury of admitting that.  It saddens me that so many don’t get that though.

Whenever I see a preacher outed for activities that go against the main stream of their faith or worse, criminal activity, it makes me wonder.  In some cases, they’re obviously sociopaths, or what I like to call broken thinkers, who believe that they are not just different from most but above humanity and above natural or criminal/civil law.  In others though, I think it was a problem of inflexibility.  They dug themselves a hole with their title and social position, that they couldn’t get out of without being outed.

It’s not only preachers and doctors of whatever that this happens to.  In many ways, many people label themselves and apply meaning to it that doesn’t belong there.  In an argument about corporal punishment, during which people who are firmly against it, label any striking or restraint as abuse, and lob insults at parents who’ve had to do it, they don’t see how they themselves are being emotionally abusive.  When called on their own abusive and threatening behavior, their self labels come out.  “I’m a nurse/doctor/therapist/survivor of abuse/whatever,” implying that because of this, it is impossible that they are being abusive.  Their behavior towards others is blatantly abusive, but their label somehow absolves them.  Anything they do is okay because they have a badge.

It reminds me of when I watched a certain outed minister state that he wasn’t Gay or Bi, just voluntarily seeking out and engaging in homosexual behavior.  It’s also reminiscent of the excuse every cop who’s ever used unnecessary force has given.

The overuse or misuse of labels and titles, official and unofficial, disassociates people from the true impact of their behavior.  It’s not Nicole doing it.  It’s Rev. Dr. Lasher doing it.  It’s not Nicole yelling at her husband about something stupid.  It’s Abuse Survivor yelling because 30 years ago she was traumatized by an incident involving an extension cord and is now paranoid about their being stored outside of closed drawers.

So while Rev. Dr. Lasher would tell you to chin up and butch up, and not be insecure about your body, does that mean Nicole can go and get her stomach stapled when her life isn’t in danger from her belly roll at all?

Uh…NO.

I’m not totally against the use of titles or labels that indicate someone’s education, experience, or position.  It’s just that we should all remember that we are the person under that title.  That person is still accountable for their behavior, and the title or label changes none of that.  The label is just a social shortcut, but the proof of who you are is in your actions.  The truth or untruth of your words is not dependent on your label.  If you are a mean spirited, abusive person, being in a social or health profession doesn’t male your poop smell like roses.  Having been abused also doesn’t make it okay for you to abuse people.

So let’s all be mindful not to rest on our laurels, whether that be a professional title or a past trauma.  Be your best and do your best today.

Haiti earthquake survivors need your help.

Aid workers are struggling to get food and water to Haitians who have been struck by the latest massive earthquake.  In one of the poorest countries in the hemisphere, relief efforts are hindered by lack of infrastructure, looting, and low building standards.  The country was already in crisis, and this has made things even worse.

If you’d like to donate online, go to Network for Good’s page on Haiti Earthquake Relief for links to many organizations that are active there now, and need help.

You can also donate through your cellular phone, and have it come out as part of your bill.  As far as I know, this can only be done from the U.S.  I’ll post international links and numbers if I can find any.

American Red Cross Haiti Relief  Text ‘Haiti’ to “90999″ to donate $10. You can also make a donation by calling 1-800-REDCROSS. (this will be charged to your cell phone bill)

Yele Haiti (Wyclef Jean’s organization) Text Yele to “501501″ to donate $5 (this will be charged to your cell phone bill)

Clinton Foundation’s Haiti Relief Fund Text “HAITI” to “20222″ to donate $10  (this will be charged to your cell phone bill)

Thanks, Khamit Kinks, for the cell phone donation information.

If you can’t donate money, you can help out by lending a hand to volunteer organizations sending teams to help find survivors and rebuild.  You can also support your local Haitian diaspora by cooking, being present, and helping them out in practical ways because many are out of communication with their families in Haiti.  It can be very emotionally crushing to not have any word from home when a disaster strikes.  It would be nice for them to not have to worry about certain day to day issues while they are worrying and waiting for calls.

Author: Ken Warren
When I started my career as a therapist in 1986, I actually believed all of my clients would want to work with me, would make the most of that time, and would be appreciative of my efforts. You can stop laughing now. I quickly was brought back to earth by teenagers who were dragged in kicking and screaming by their parents, people who were required by the courts to attend counselling but were just going through the motions, and husbands who had their wife’s hand attached to their earlobe. So how do you engage with someone who has their arms crossed, doesn’t want to be there, and is reluctant to talk? Here is my advice for those who work with non-voluntary clients.

1. Make them as comfortable as possible. You can try to put them at ease by introducing yourself, being personable, reassuring them of confidentiality, and explaining, in an appealing way, how your role works. You could say that your job was simply helping people to get what they want. I don’t suggest you say to resistant clients, “I help people with problems” as they will feel, quite rightly, labeled. If people are reluctant to talk about the matter at hand, they may be more open to first speaking about their interests and passions – a type of a ‘get to know you before I talk to you’ approach.
2. Acknowledge their perspective. It also helps if you acknowledge how they are seeing things and how strongly they are feeling about this. For those who are not talkative, you may have to guess how they are feeling. Perhaps they don’t see the need to be there or are mad as hell at being compelled to attend. Acknowledgement for how they are feeling will help to ease strong negative emotions. At the very least, they will at least appreciate that you understand how they are seeing things. You can also reduce resistance by overstating their position, “You feel that the other person is being totally unreasonable, are 100% to blame for the difficulties, and there is absolutely nothing you can do”. When people’s position is overstated, there is often a temptation to correct you with a more moderate position. You could also reframe someone’s resistance in a positive light, “You don’t want to be told by anyone what to do. You have your own ideas on what will help”. A double-sided reflection can also help. Eg. “On the one hand, you think your parents are being very unfair and you are not the problem. But on the other hand, you can’t go on putting up with things as they presently are”. Although they have not actually said the more positive part, you are at least helping them to consider if they do indeed feel that way. Most people are reluctant to correct a position that helps to paint them as reasonable.
3. Find out what they want. Everyone wants something. It might be to get their parents off their back, for example. But the challenge is you also have other parties whose wants you also need to consider. Parents, for example, might want their child’s behaviour to improve. Here the strategies required to achieve the parents’ goal are likely to be the same as the teenager’s. Oh, if people were only this easy. Sometimes clients choose unworthy goals (to kill themselves, for example) or unachievable (for others to leave them alone). Your job is to negotiate goals that are worthy and achievable – to be less stressed or to influence change in others, for example. Other times, people simply say what they think you want to hear. They might say they want to address their problem drinking even when they really do not see their drinking as a problem at all. Here we need to double-check with people that they are really meaning what they are saying. Finding out what people want is further complicated by the fact that some people have a hidden agenda. I often used to work with parents who presented concerned about how their child was going with their mother and father’s separation. Invariably, many of these parents also wanted a report supportive of their court actions around the child’s living arrangements. Here you may need to guess what the client is possibly also wanting and to check this with them and to clarify what you can or cannot do. Where clients have a number of wants, your task is to clarify which of these wants need to be worked on first.
4. Use what they find motivating. Most human beings are motivated by either pleasure or pain, sometimes both. It could be the benefits associated with the change that needs to occur. Or it could be change to avoid a negative consequence that they deeply care about. It should not be this way, but some people are only motivated to consider or explore change when the status quo becomes very uncomfortable for them. Men going through relationship difficulties, for example, are often reluctant to attend counselling. I have found, however, that when their partner is commencing separation, that many will move heaven and earth to do what it takes. We can find out what is motivating for an individual by asking why or what questions. “Why do they need to change?” or “What makes them think they need to work hard on this?” Although we might already have an idea as to what the reasons are, people tend to become more motivated by that which they voice themselves. Whenever we hear such ‘change language’ we need to literally turn the volume up, asking questions to elicit more talk that is supportive of change. Others, through their resistant behaviour, are saying they are motivated by power and control. We can harness this need by giving clients control. For example, “You’re in control of your life. I can’t make you do anything. What are your ideas for helping the situation?” Alternatively, you could take up the anti-change side of the argument which will often provoke them to argue for all the reasons they should change.

There is a certain order to the above which needs to be considered although not stuck to strictly. It is no good trying to find out what a client is wanting if they do not feel comfortable at all in talking with you. Most people can be made to feel comfortable, though there is always a possibility that you are just the wrong person to work with a particular client. Resistance is also strongly influenced by your approach. So, if resistance continues, this is a signal that you need to stop what you are doing and change your approach. Changing the environment is also an option – seeing couples separately or involving others in your meeting. I have found some teenagers who were initially reluctant to talk became more open as we walked and talked in a park with their parents nearby. If you want to work more effectively with difficult clients, then check out my On-line Course: Effectiveness Training for Helping Professionals.About the Author:

Ken Warren, known as The Doctor of Difficult People, is a Relationships Expert. He can show you how to turn difficult customers and co-workers into pussycats, make great teams even better, and achieve better outcomes with challenging clients. Check out his free resources at Positive People Solutions.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – Engaging Resistant Clients

The visible world is like the tip of the iceberg.

A question that I get a lot from both healers and seekers of healing is about how someone can possibly do it from a distance.  It is actually quite simple if one knows how.  The basic technique can be used by those with or without a special talent.  It doesn’t take a particularly deep spirituality.  What it does take however is a relatively strong mind.  It also helps with the visualization, to have a strong intellect.  You will need to be able to think in more than three dimensions.

First, we will review the facts, and then we will go into the how to, based on the facts.

Fact:  Everything in the universe, even in 3 dimensions, is connected.  We are not made of any unusual or unnatural substance that popped out of nowhere.  The same dirt the Earth is made of is the same dirt that we are made of, and is the same dirt that the stars and planets are made of.  We are just not all arranged the same.  The plastic spoon you use to stir your coffee is part of the same universe that you are.   The main difference between you and that plastic spoon though, is that you can sense the influence that plastic spoon has on you, but it can’t sense the influence that you have on it.

Fact:  The mind stores information, and information that is important enough is regarded as an influence.

Fact:  When an object or person influences us, we carry that with us beyond the moment of the incident.

Fact:  When influence between living beings is mutual, both have stored a mental image of one another, and the higher the impact of the influence, the deeper the connection is between the beings.

So, based on all of this information, the psychological connection between any two people overrides any physical distance.  You may reach out to one another through your minds at will.  Many people interpret such reaching out as a mystical experience.  However, it is very much psychological and doesn’t really require any particular ceremony. 

You may wish to use protective and positive prayers though, since you will be using the same parts of the brain that allow us to handle mystical experiences without going insane.

How to Reach Out

Clean and quiet your mind by the means that you are used to.  This could be deep breathing, relaxing to some soft music, chanting, dhikr, mantras, whatever.  You will need to reach a state of inner awareness first.

Imagine yourself (not your body, but your self however you are in your mind) standing in a wide open field with no ground.  You are in an area, not standing on a floor, but a stable area.  Then imagine all of the living beings you have ever met in your life (not their bodies, but their impressions as they have influenced you), even bugs and plants all around you.  Now remember that they have all had some influence on your life and the way that you think of things now.

If they appear to be spiralling around you, try to shift this to both a spiralling and a rolling towards you.  Remember that you are visualizing the influences that living beings have had on you because you are attempting to utilize your mutual connection with them.  Keep yourself steady while this is going on.  Going “out” to join them is a different exercise.

Don’t try to be specifically conscious of each and every individual being.  This will tire you out before your mission is started. 

Just be aware that they are all there, and all a part of your sphere of influence.  Then reach towards the being that you are attempting to contact by thinking of them.  It helps if you have seen and talked with them.  If you haven’t, then thinking of a letter or call you received from or about them is enough.  If the idea is just to connect with them, then when they come into your inner view, receive whatever information there is to receive, and then detatch naturally.  If you are to give them a gift of positive energy, then give this to them after receiving information, so you know what exactly to give them.

Then allow the visualization to dissipate gradually as you return to the “real world”.

See?  It’s not so difficult.  It just takes a bit of practice to get used to.  Try it out with close family and friends first, and then move outward to people who have had less mutual influence with you. 

You may someday be able to do distance readings and healing, but be patient with yourself.  Your natural abilities and level of openness will determine how well you will be able to use this technique.  Some times you may be more capable than others.

Blessings in your quest!

They knew I was a healer, so they asked for my help.  I asked a few questions, and started to get very suspicious that there was foul play.  He said that it felt as if his intestines and stomach were full of snakes.  I asked him in private if he had done something that may have made someone very angry…angry enough to want him dead.  He couldn’t think of anyone.  He’s a good guy and got along with people.  I felt his stomach, and looked at it.  It was pretty obvious that he did indeed have snakes in his stomach.  I wondered who would do such a cruel thing to a good man, and decided to treat him.

I called Papa Jim’s phone line, and they treated it like an emergency call.  Within two days, we received a packet and instructions.  So we made the tea…actually more like a sludge that he was supposed to drink for two days.  It worked, and his stomach pains went away.

…but then he got a call from other members of his family.  Some of them had been having similar symptoms.  So we gave them the same treatment.

Knowing, from a scientific standpoint, where snakes in the stomach comes from, we asked questions about the water system there.  Apparently some areas get their water from underground wells that have old fashioned grids because they are also fed from mountain water.  When the level drops, various amphibians can get caught in them, and some apparently died and decomposed there.  There isn’t really a mechanical filter that can get rid of the poison that is made from dead frogs.  The water has to pass through charcoal or other mineral filters.

So we recommended that they put water filters on their houses until the state filtered their water lines or fixed the system that animals couldn’t get caught in them.

In short, the reason I like Papa Jim’s is because they don’t mess around.  They take every order seriously, and their recipes are the real thing.  His motto is “whatever works” and it does indeed work.